Put Your Foot Down Parenting

Helping Parents Regain Their Sanity Since 2003!

 

Helping Parents Regain Their Sanity Since 2003!

 

Frustrated but not ready for "Nanny 911" ?


Try Melissa's 411:


  • Remember, it WILL get worse before it gets better! When a parent begins to change their parenting routine and becomes less flexible, children will escalate their inappropriate behaviors in order to get the parents to back down and become marshmallows again. DON'T DO IT! This is a sign that your new skills are working; stay the course and you will be rewarded!
  • Don't give up! Yes, it may take 4 hours to successfully complete a 10 minute time out, but you are teaching your child that you are in charge, not them. So keep putting the child on that time out stool, back in bed, or whatever it may be, as many times as it takes to complete whatever it is you are working on.
  • Don't cave in! Many times parents will cave in to a child's demands or not follow through with a consequence in order to stop the child's harrassment or tantruming. Parents who do this undermine themselves because it teaches the child that he can manipulate you by escalating the unacceptable behavior.
  • Stay calm! Often times a parent's angry or frustrated reaction only escalates a child's emotional response and can trigger a full-on meltdown!
  • Take a timeout! If you do end up "losing it", sometimes all it takes is a parental timeout to calm a tense situation- this allows you and your child a little breathing room to regain control of your emotions.
  • Be consistent! Not following through with a consequence teaches your child that they can pick and choose when to follow the rules and that they don't have to bear responsibility for their choices and actions.
  • Get creative! Behavior charts, stickers, and other visual means of tracking behavior can be helpful because they remind kids what they are working toward.
  • Offer rewards for good behavior! Contrary to popular belief, rewarding a child's good behavior is NOT bribery- it is positive reinforcement. Behavioral studies show that positive reinforcement increases the occurrence of the rewarded behavior! Just make sure the reward comes AFTER the desired behavior!
  • Share your expectations and rules with your child! Children are able to make better choices when they know the rules, what your expectations are (i.e. that cleaning the bathroom means scrubbing the sink, mirror, vanity, tub AND the floor), and associated consequences if they don't follow through.
  • Watch the Nanny shows! They often have solid advice and creative suggestions for dealing with unacceptable or out-of-control behaviors. They may even provide a little bit of hope, as you will probably think, "Whew, I guess we don't have it quite that bad!"